A question from a reader....

I received this email a while ago but now that I am back I thought it would be a good one to share to see what kind of advice you had for her as well.

Hello,
I hope you don't mind me emailing you. I got your email address as i was searching on the net for pictures for Pics of real plus size brides and came across your blog site which was very helpful and helped inspire my confidence about being a plus size bride.
The reason why i have contacted you was to say all of those you listed on your introduction about why you made the site i.e What are some poses that I could have had my photographer take that would have been more flattering? How big does my bouquet need to be so it looks proportional? are all exactly the questions i have at the moment and also just generally how to forget about your inhabitions enough to enjoy the day as i am very unconfident about myself and do give myself a really hard time!! I hear people who would read this and say why doesn't she do something about it then but i have tried i done weight watchers last year and lost just over a stone in 8 months but it was a really bad struggle not to stick to the diet as i found that easy and good to understand, but to get the weight to shift as i have high hormone levels and severe pco's so it all works against me!!!!!
If you would be so kind as to be able to give me some good confidence boosting tips and advice on all you can think of i would really appreciate it.
P.s no the size of the bouquet thing is exactly the question i would ask too!!
Thanks Janine x

Janine,

I am so sorry to have taken so long to respond to your email. Oh and I think I found that stone you lost! LOL...

Even though I LOVE taking photographs of other people I alway feel like I look terrible in pictures. I freeze up and look all stiff and uncomfortable in most pictures. What worked a little for me was to have a stiff drink. It definately took the edge off my nerves. I still think I looked stiff and uncomfortable but it was better than usual.

I think if I had it to do over I would have treated myself to a mani and pedi the day of the portrait shoot (and also the day of the wedding!) and had a nice bottle of wine or champagne to celebrate (or in my case...loosen up with). I did have a couple of drinks beforehand and it definately relaxed me but I still looked a little stiff in the beginning. I finally decided just to be OK with it because, after all, that IS what I look like. So after about 5 minutes it seemed a lot less painful to have my picture being taken. LOL

Some of the ways that they pose you will seem silly and feel a little weird but just trust that the photographer knows what they are doing. As the shoot went on I did loosen up and get used to being on the other side of the camera. But I have to say....the best picture they took of us was the one we were laughing at ourselves. Totally spur of the moment.

There are always going to be people that think we should be thinner. Whatever. It is what it is. Don't beat yourself up about it so much. If losing weight is important to you then keep working at it. You can alway have some pictures taken later on your anniversary, on a birthday or just because you are having a good hair day.

A few of things that I wish I had done........

1.) have my eyebrows groomed professionally (I can never get mine even), it really does make your eyes look their best. And then

2.) a manicure. Even if you don't like to wear polish they can do a nice buff on your nails. Everyone will be looking at your hands and they will be in A LOT of pictures!

3.) I also wished I had worn some lip gloss in some of the pictures because my lips looked kinda dry. Oh well.

I still worry sometimes that my bouquet was a little small....

Relax and Enjoy!